Friday, May 23, 2008

The Last Day

It's the last day of Preschool. The last day of semi sanity. The last day of only having 2 kids home for part of the day. Don't get me wrong, I love Mark, but man, he is a challenge. He's the one that argues every point. And the one that talks non stop until I say things like "hmmm let's play the QUIET game. Which I never ever thought I would find myself using that little line.

So, real school has another week and a half. Maybe this is the school system's way of easing me into summer. One kid back at a time. Or maybe that's just the side effect.

The last few days have been hard on me. Yesterday I hit that critical mass and I just felt at the end of my rope. When Kevin got home I was sending Eric and Mark up to their rooms for fighting. He asked me what was wrong and I fell apart. I cried. I cried about making my bed to have them immediately go in there and throw pillows on the floor. I cried about Mark leaving crayons on the floor for Ben to eat. I cried about Ben eating crayons. I cried about the tantrum that ensued after I threw the crayons away. I cried because these are just things that little boys do, yet I felt so unable to cope with it, so angry at the time.

He, being the incredible man that he is took over dinner and told me to sit and relax, and I did.

I despise getting upset over these little things. Yesterday crayons and pillows made me cry, they made me yell at my kids. Granted, these were only 2 of the many messes and crazy antics that happened so it wasn't only that. It just all built up. I want to be the mom that doesn't let these things get to me, but I also want my children to learn responsibility and appreciation, and how to take care of their things. I want to strike the balance.

So, given yesterday's chaos, the last day of preschool has me nervous,no terrified. I'm shaking in my sandals. Summer will be hard. It can be fun too, so I still plan on executing my Summer Survival Strategy to help with the boredom and the craziness. Hopefully, it will allow me to make it out on the other end sane, or at least alive.


Anonymous said...

Yesterday at my house the kids werent doing anything "bad", just usual kid antics, but I just couldnt cope. At all. And when my husband came home and noticed my bad mood he asked if the kids had given me a hard time. And I couldnt even answer. I was like "yes, no not really. I think it's just me". We are three weeks into summer vacation and I've already lost my damn mind!!!

I wish I could buy some patience at the store. And brain cells!

Jenny said...

Aww, hang in there Becca. We ALLL have those days. Like when I find myself putting Fia in the corner, and she's sobbing, and Maddie's in my arms wailing because she's hungry...and whatever Fia was getting into is all over the carpet making a stain....and, and, and... Yep, those are the good days. bah! But the next day is always better, and you're a GREAT mom!!

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