Thursday, May 15, 2008

Down with Mommy Guilt!

I finished reading Jen Singer's book "You're a Good Mom (and your kids aren't so bad either.) Can I tell you I have never felt better about my parenting? Can I also tell you that there were times while reading it that I was like "Wow. Jen Singer lives inside my head because that's exactly what I was thinking." I laughed so much at this book and it made me think a lot. I won't say more, though because I want you to go out and and get a copy and read it right now. K? Seriously, it was a great read. It will make you laugh, I promise. It might even make that voice inside your head that drives you crazy with insecurity and mommy guilt shut up for awhile.

You know the voice, surely. I know every mom has that evil mommy guilt voice. I hope, anyway. Maybe it's just me. Wait, is it just me? See, there's the insecurity rearing it's ugly head. I confess that I have spent much of the last 6 years feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing. It's a little better with the babies because I've done it before. Until they do something that neither of my big boys did and then it's back to Clueless City. And poor Eric is in unchartered territory, and while he's more independent I worry that I am not doing enough to help him manuever it. I do my best and I think I've got good kids. So I give myself a little credit for that (or maybe they are just good by nature?) I've felt guilty for not being able to do as much at Eric's school as I'd like, and guilty for needing time to myself. Guilty when I don't have enough patience. Guilty for feeling such relief at the end of the day when I tuck them into their beds. Guilt, guilt, guilt. So stop it with the guilt already! Easier said than done, right? Definitely. I still don't have the answers to get rid of it altogether but Jen's book made me realize that I don't have to be "Supermom" (good thing cause I am surely not) to be a good mom. I love my kids and I want what is best for them. I am imperfect and I may not always know what I'm doing, but I think I'm catching on. I can think of times that I have been unsure of my actions and later realized it was right on the money. I don't have it "all together" and I make mistakes, but I try to do my best to pick back up and make sure those boys know they are loved, and know what I expect. I think that's what matters most.

the book really sparked these issues for me. What do I need to do to feel more secure in my parenting, and how the heck do I lose the guilt? I'm still working on the answers, but I really think I'm on the right track now.

Oh! And if you have a funny story about being a mom, go enter The Housewife Awards contest and see if your story will win!

Oh! And go enter my contest by answering the questions in the post below because I will feel really silly if no one else enters :) (Plus I need a recommendation on a mop!)


Shanna said...

Wow, that book sounds great. I really need to get it and read it!

Sue said...

LOVE Jen Singer!! She's my new hero! I might have to start stalking her.

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