The Answers I Wanted to Use

On Friday, Zack's preschool sent home a "Family Survey." As I was answering the questions I couldn't possibly put down my first response. The answers I used are entirely true. However, the answers that would have been most accurate are way more entertaining, yet somehow inappropriate to actually use. So, I present you with preschool family survey. The TRUTH of the matter...

Date 8/30/09
My Child's Name ErMaBe.... Crap, which kid is this form for? Zack, yes Zachary Bailey.
Hand Dominance - Right. I mean, I'm assuming he's right handed. No evidence to the contrary.
My child enjoys playing with - anything one of his brothers is currently playing with & unwilling to give up.
My child is really interested in - potty humor, saying "stupid" and other words that upset Mommy.
My child spends quiet time doing - there are four children in the home. Quiet time doesn't exist.
My child is happiest when - getting his own way, eating ice cream, clinging to Mommy.
My child's strengths are - throwing a screaming fit to try to get what he wants, irritating his older brothers. I hope you don't expect me know his intellectual strengths yet because... hello... he's 4.
I would like my child to accomplish the following this year - Stop throwing tantrums, stop being so easily upset. Stop clinging to mommy, and maybe get dressed by himself. No I don't expect you to do all of this in school, but I'd really like those things to happen.
The following people live at our house - Mom, dad & 3 siblings. Yes 3. Yes they are all boys. Yes they are all mine.
Our family really enjoys spending time - driving each other crazy. Also, being outdoors and stuff. But the kids, their favorite past time is annoying the crap out of one another.

So, you can see why I couldn't put my first reaction as my answers. Aren't you lucky I decided to share it with you though.