Moments

In my life I have so many moments that I wish I could strike out. Moments that I have lost my temper. Ones in which I get aggravated and am too short with my little cuties. There are moments that I ask them to please.stop.talking. when they just really want my approval and attention. There are those times that I send them to bed a little bit early for my own benefit. I wish I could erase all those moments and only keep the good ones.

I talk a fair bit about what a challenge my Mark is, and I often forget to talk about what a joy he can also be. Yesterday we were out and about and we were talking and lagging back a bit from the others. I put my arm around his shoulder and he scooted closer to me and put his arm around my lower back. He had to reach up pretty far to reach me, but we walked and talked and he seemed so darn big. Suddenly he ran up to walk with his daddy, but that brief moment when we were just relaxed with no deadlines and no distractions to bog me down was priceless. These are the moments I want to savor, the ones I want imprinted on my brain to take the place of the ones where things aren't just so right.

More importantly, I want to make sure these little moments of happiness increase, while the others decrease. They will always be there. I will always be human and selfish (I'm working on that one) and I will always fall short. Yet, more than anything I find myself craving sweet moments with these boys. Because someday before I realize it's happened Mark's not going to have to stretch to get that arm around me anymore, Eric will someday be taller than me, and Zack and Ben too. I hope by then they'll still want to sit by me, and show me their accomplishments and tell me their dreams.