Lost in Translation

Sometimes my kids don't quite get what I'm trying to say.

For example:

Me: Hey guys, I'm going to order a pizza, let's be quiet for just a minute.
Kid translation: Hey, why don't you all be even louder and follow me from room to room as I try to escape the noise.

Me: Mommy has a lot to do. Can you all play nicely and let me work?
Kid translation: I have a lot to do today. Could you please interrupt me every 3 minutes with an urgent request for a drink, or a complete freak out over something minor. I especially like tattling and screaming at each other.

Me: Yes, you can have some computer time when I'm done writing this in my blog. Please go play.
Kid translation: Yes you can have some computer time when I'm done writing this in my blog. Sitting here reading over my shoulder is fiiiiine. Sitting beside me snapping your fingers is good too. Asking me every thirty seconds if it is your turn yet, even better.

And even though I have a few more examples of my words being lost in translation, I must get off. Because my five minutes is up.