A Few Confessions

1. I still have not run since I've been home from vacation. I want to. I set the alarm, and when it goes off I just.can't.get.up. I am blaming this on being stuck on Central Time. I was sleeping til 7 central, and now getting up at 7 Eastern is HARD. To run I have to get up and out the door by 6 (ish) and it's just not happening. Next week Kevin will be far far away on business and no running will be happening then. I plan to get one good jog in this weekend, and fill in with the exercise bike next week, then back to running regularly. I did have a thought this morning that might help that was planted by the Beck Diet Solution. I reminded myself that every time I didn't get up that it would be easier to sleep in the next time. The author, Judith Beck, explains how every time you give in (either to food, or to not exercising) you are strengthening your "giving in muscle." Each time you resist that temptation you are strenghtening your "resistance muscle." Unfortunately, today I thought of it too late and couldn't go run and get home in time for Kevin to go to work. But, when he's back in town I hope this strategy will get me back on track regardless of what time zone my body thinks it's in. (PS if you feel like you need a little boost in your quest for healthy living/weight loss I completely recommend this book. I plan to reread parts of it for a refresher very soon. I bought it on Amazon and recommend it because it has really changed the way I think about food.)

2. I had my first mommy meltdown of the summer. It was ridiculous, actually, because I'm really enjoying having all the kids back home, and having things almost back to normal (almost because I'm never totally sure what normal is.) Yet, despite my resolve to be patient and not let certain children behaviors get to me, I completely got mad over something little. You see, Mark has this quality in which he's never quite satisfied. Never quite has enough. Always thinking of what's next, and maybe a little bit wants to run the whole show. I do my efforts to keep him content, but I also have 5 other family members to consider, as well as time and budget constraints. The story goes, all day long he was complaining. Complained when I wouldn't let him play Wii because it was school work time. Complained when he couldn't play Wii because it was chore time. In fact, every time I made any request of him it was met with grumbling. I let it go, because he did it, and this is the new, patient, me.

So, since our morning stuff was done I decided we'd do a picnic at the park. To be even extra nice we got our food from McDonalds and arrived at the playground. Of course, no one could agree where to go so I took a vote. 3 to 1... guess who the descenting opinion was. Guess who deemed the winning playground to be BORING and a BABY playground. I ignored the complaints as I knew once we got there things would be fine. I would not be defeated by his negativity. Mark has another habit of annoying his brothers and doing little ornery things like throw the shoes they are trying to put on their feet into the back of the van. This little act, as I was getting their food gathered and out of the car made me a little berserk and I started kind of tossing the chocolate milk containers back into the van so I could go get the tossed shoes, and when I got to the last one I realized too late that it was in fact my diet coke, which the lid popped off of and emptied into my seat. Sigh. I guess I didn't yell at them, and I wasn't throwing anything hard, just more of a bouncing stuff into the seat to make a point. HOWEVER, it was immature and silly and I apologized to my kids for throwing a little bit of a tantrum. The rest of the day went on and we had fun, so I guess no one was traumatized.