Monday, January 25, 2010


I must confess it makes me irritable when people say "You'll miss this phase someday." Usually because it makes me feel guilty for complaining about something annoying one of the kids have done. Also because sometimes I just want to say "REALLY? Am I?? Because something inside me can't believe I'm going to miss my child Houdini-ing his way out of the shopping cart seatbelt no matter how tight I get it. I don't think I'll miss tantrum after tantrum and meltdown after meltdown.

I do understand the sentiment of the phrase, because there are definitely parts of this stage that I will miss. And I feel like I have a pretty good handle on taking the bad with the good, and keeping things in perspective. So, sometimes, if I just need to vent about some kind of insanity the kids have done, the last thing I want to hear is "you'll miss this someday."

That said, I've been daydreaming lately about next school year. Dropping three kids off all at one time at one school just thrills my soul. Because as much as I adore everything about Zack being in preschool... he's learning so much, he loves his teachers and friends, I get three hours a day with just ONE kid at home (and usually he naps!)... the current drop off/pickup schedule is a little draining. Yesterday, once I finished that daydream I skipped ahead one more year to when Ben will be in preschool, and even with the crazy schedule of dropping off and picking up, I will be alone during the day for the first time in almost 8 years. And how nice it will be to be able to go volunteer in school, or eat lunch with the kids any time I want. How I could exercise during the day without worrying someone will do something ridiculous. How my house might stay clean for just a while (you know, until the kids come home.)

Then I snapped back to reality, and thought "slow down girl!!" I need to slow down a little and enjoy the time I have with the little guys before they head off to school. I can't help but look forward to those days, but I need to not be in such a hurry to get there. Because, I kind of suspect I'll miss them.


Anonymous said...

I think you do a great job of enjoying your current stage! I know there are things I will miss, and there are certainly things I won't miss! Having a few hours a day to yourself is pretty great- you will definately enjoy that! :)

Sue @ Laundry for Six said...

Ok, now there's a strange comment!

(Anonymous, not Shanna!)

It is hard to find the balance between not wishing away some of this very labor intensive stage and waiting for life to get a little easier.

I can attest, it does get so much easier. The sheer physical need of 4 young kids is a LOT to keep up with. I look back sometimes and wonder how in the heck I managed. (And your kids are even closer together than mine.)

Yes, I enjoyed when they were little. It was fun. Was I exhausted? Yes. Stressed? Yes. Would I go back to those days? Maybe for an hour, but not a whole day!

Each stage has it's hard part. The phase my kids are in now is much more emotionally exhausting... school and social dynamics and GIRLFRIENDS and GAH. I do sometimes look back and think how much simpler it was, 5 years ago. But it wasn't simpler. It was just different. And so much more tiring!

(And now, I will turn your blog back over to you!)

Astarte said...

You know, I don't miss the stages, and I think it's bullshit when people say that. Either that, or they're having a really crappy present, and aren't enjoying their kids now. I occasionally think, 'oh, I loved that part!' when I see a child making raspberries in a shopping cart, or something, but really, but honestly, whatever. Mostly, I think people are just looking for something to say to make conversation, and to make excuses for staring at your cute kids. :)

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