Friday, November 20, 2009

Nature or Nurture

We all know the whole debate. Are kids the way they are because of dna, or the way they were raised.

Yet another example.

I am somewhat obsessive about being on time. I try not to show it to the kids, but I plan and work hard to leave in enough time to be on time even in the worst circumstances. When I was young, I made sure to be early to everything. As I've aged, and had a bunch of kids, I've mellowed out enough to the point that on time is acceptable. On the rare occasions that I am running late I experience turmoil. My stomach does flip flops, my heart rate elevates, I get all the classic anxiety symptoms. I'm working on it. I've given my permission to myself to be late to things like playgroups. Things where when I am on time, I'm the only one there.

Today, Eric had to be at school an hour early. It wasn't a big deal, considering my kids are up by 6 most days. We had 2 full hours before we had to leave to get there. School is 3 minutes away. It was not a thing. I had time to get all the kids ready, and even whip up a little pilgrim hat out of foam for Mark for his Colonial Tea. Yet every five minutes my oldest son was saying "Mom, are we going to be late?" "Mom, when do we have to leave?" "Mom I'm going to be LATE."

And I wonder, does he see my anxiety about being late? I do try to stress timeliness and let them know exactly how long they have to get ready in the mornings. Hardly ever do I utter the phrase "hurry up or we are going to be late!" I keep my slightly insane anxiety about being tardy to myself.

So, is this just something he inherited from me? Or am I less adept at hiding this part of myself than I thought?

1 comment:

fazzey said...

Becca, I wonder about DNA, verses enviroment. I use to think you could love and train a child. and I think to a point you can. But I also think the genes play an important part in how they are .

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