Distant Memories

It clicked with me the other day, how far we've come.

We no longer have sippy cups found days later to be cleaned of curdled milk... or let's be honest... thrown away. Gone are the days of daily diapers (but here are the days of daily accidents.) Goodbye to Cry It Out. I remember clearly struggling to get Ben to sleep. Wondering why by the fourth go round I wasn't any better at resisting the cry of my baby. Now, that is a distant memory, as no one cries at bedtime. On the contrary they mostly just stay in bed after kisses and hugs and sleep until morning - even if I may not consider it morning.

When I grow frustrated with Ben and his antics, he often charms me with a smile and a cute saying. For example, yesterday he came to me and said "Mommy! I found boy lipstick! Want some?" and he made a kissy face, all puckered up, "do this!" I did, who could resist? And he smeared some on my lips. Completing the sweetness by smacking a kiss on my lips, I wondered how I could grow so frustrated with this child. Yet, when he is in the midst of his crazy shenanigans, I wonder... where the other ones this ornery? Was I younger and more energetic? More patient? Why is all of this so hard on me this time? Granted, the boy can dish out some insanity, but really, is it any worse than the others? Maybe... I don't know.

What I do know, is just like the diapers and the sippy cups, these days will someday be a distant memory. Just like when the boys would pile up entire contents of closets in Baby Zack's (!!) crib and frustrate me like crazy... those days seem funny and easy to me. Those hard days pale in comparison to the right now.

I know *right now* it all seems very difficult. Will the future hold even harder days? Or will I be better equipped to handle it all then? It's a scary question, because if it difficulty keeps increasing I could be in really big trouble. Like loony bin trouble. And then that, too, shall pass and on to the next trial.

So, my conclusion with all of this deep thought (brought to you while folding laundry, no less) is that for now, I have to embrace it all. Peed pants, thrown fits and all, because before very long it will all be a distant memory. One I want to look back on as a mother, patient and calm through the adversity. Enjoying the fun times and taking the hard ones in stride. I have a long way to go...

In an attempt to embrace that sentiment... I give you things I enjoyed today.

1. The aforementioned "boy lipstick" incident. I love that Ben relates to me in ways that the others don't. He wants to be like me, but at the same time he is totally 100% boy.
2. The big boys created snow suits for their stuffed animals today. Out of old socks. Because clearly they might get cold in Florida, in August... when we walk outside and instantly sweat. You never know. The creativity makes me proud! Even when it confuses me.
3. Zack, after I drew a map explaining the difference between Tampa Bay, the Gulf of Mexico, and the Atlantic Ocean (upon questioning by Mark) saying "WOW Mommy, I didn't know you knew all that! You are pretty smart!" Seriously, made my day!
4. Watching them help each other.
5. Enjoying them hang out with friends while eating ice cream.
6. Eric, after being sent to his room for a melt down, telling me, "hey mom, I cleaned my room a little while I was up there."
7. When they get along and just play... it happens sometimes.
8. Eric and Mark working together to unload the dishwasher without complaining. It isn't exactly as I would do it, and they took forever, but it got done.