Just Let Me Lie Down...

Awhile back I was reading Real Simple magazine, and I saw that the editor had written a book called "Just Let Me Lie Down - Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom." "I'll bet that's funny," I thought. "I might have to read that one."

Lo and behold a few weeks later I learned that Silicon Valley Moms Blog was reading this book for their April book club and I signed up as quickly as possible.** Shortly after, I began to get nervous. I felt like an impostor because I am not a working mom. Would I relate to the book? How would I find anything to write about?

My nerves were for no good reason, because what I took away from this book was a feeling of connection. Turns out, a lot of the terms necessary for the half-insane working mom work for a half-insane stay at home mom as well.

Specifically:

"Fight Club: The secret society your children belong to that requires them to spontaneously pinch, punch or otherwise provoke one another whenever you are in a hurry to get out of the house..."

Universal to working and stay at home mom's for sure. I have to wonder what on earth is so hard about grabbing a backpack and lunchbox (on the days I have myself together enough to pack my kids' lunches) walk to the car, get inside and buckle up. I wonder why I bother to say "boys, keep your hands to yourselves," because really it is futile. In addition to the fight club behavior, my 4 boys like to circle around the van, open the back door and climb in that way, aka "trunk dive." Once in the car, the punching and pinching begin again.

"Just Let Me Lie Down: A request... that, by the nature of its constant presence and persistence, has formed a path around your brain... 'I am dreading that work meeting today... oh, just let me lie down.'"

Okay, I don't have work meetings, but my line is "I just want to sleep." Because in a blissful state of sleep I wouldn't have fight clubs and kids running circles,and more housework than should be legal with no desire to do it. I understand the sentiment well.

But my favorite line in the whole book comes from the term for the half-insane working (or not) mom "Pie Chart of You." The line that resonated with me was "...and if you are spending time doing one thing, you are just stealing hours from something else." That just sums it all up for me. Right this minute I am typing this post in lieu of many other responsibilities I must complete today. I intended to do it earlier, but three phone calls stole the time I had then. I could have also been cleaning my kids' pigpens bedrooms, or the playroom, or the garage or a multitude of other items on my to do list that should be checked off today. Yet, if I were doing that right this minute, I would feel remiss that I wasn't instead playing with my preschoolers, or writing this ahead of time enough to proofread it before the deadline. Later, I will volunteer at my big boys' school, which will take time away from more chores. You see what always loses? The housework will always come last, I guess.

In conjunction with this book club, I was able to sit in on a conference call with Kristin van Ogtrop and the other Silicon Valley Moms Group regional bloggers. The topic revolved around ambivalence and when you stay home a part of you feels like you should be working, but the opposite is also true. That as moms of any variety our lives are crazy (but we kind of like the crazy), and that no matter where we are in terms of working or staying at home there is no right decision, only what is right for our individual families. Thank you Kristin, for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with us! Even though I didn't say anything, being on that call made my whole day!

**I received this book free from the publisher as part of Silicon Valley Moms April book club.

Be sure to head over to Deep South Moms on Friday morning to check out the rest of the posts responding to "Just Let Me Lie Down."

I am SO Embarrassed!

How many times in your life have you uttered that phrase? I think, for me it must be at least a million. I have a tendency to be a klutz, say the wrong thing, walk into a school function with food a kid has smeared on my shirt (or maybe I just say the kids did it). I could go on and on.

In honor of the Silicon Valley Moms Group's April Book club book, I am about to divulge what I consider my most embarrassing moment. Warning, don't read this right now if you are about to or have just had a meal, or if you have a sensitive stomach. Or if you are drinking anything lest you spit it all over your monitor. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Sigh.

Okay, here goes.

When I was pregnant with Eric I failed my first Gestational Diabetes test. Therefore, I had to take the three hour test to determine if I needed to make any diet changes, etc. The test itself went better than I had envisioned it, and despite having to drink the orange syrupy liquid I held up pretty well.

On my way out the door I was starving and called my husband to see if he wanted me to meet him somewhere for lunch before I headed off to work. I, for still unknown reasons, thought Taco Bell sounded like a good plan. Can you see where this is going?

I took one bite of my taco and according to my husband, my face turned green. Simultaneously, my stomach became very, violently ill and I ran to the bathroom. Sadly, I did not make it quite in time, and while the worst of it got in the toilet, it also was on the floor of the restaurant, in my hair. I noticed as I tried to clean up that this bathroom had no paper towels, only a hand dryer, which was not what I needed to clean up the horrific mess I had left.

Since I was taking awhile attempting to clean myself up with toilet paper, my husband got concerned and I heard him talking outside the bathroom door. "Could I go in there and help her?" to which the Taco Bell employee replied "Are you sure she's in there?" Confused, he said "yes, she ran in there when she got sick." "Oh," said the girl who was mopping up my mess in the dining room, "well, sure you can go in there. It's the men's room."

It was at that point that I started crying uncontrollably. Throwing up all over the place wasn't bad enough, I had to run into the men's bathroom to do it. I was just so thankful no one had been in there using it.

As with most of my embarrassing moments, I can laugh about this now, but at the time it was very, most assuredly, not.funny.


This post was inspired by "Much to Your Chagrin, a Memoir of Embarrassment", by Suzanne Guillette. Suzanne shares her own embarrassing moments as well as those of others who were surprisingly ready to tell their most humiliating moments. I admire Suzanne for writing her story, and for her ability to talk to strangers and put them at ease enough to tell her what they did or said that embarrassed them the most. I took away from this book a much needed reminder that we all have these moments, and it's how we react to them that really matters. We all could use a good laugh at our own expense now and then. For more discussion of the book, and other embarrassing stories, please visit Silicon Valley Moms for today's book club!

Feel free to share your own embarrassing moments here or over at the discussion.

Book Club Time

It's book club time! This month the Deep South Moms Blog is hosting the book club for "It Started With Pop Tarts" by Lori Hanson.

I had to overcome a few hurdles while reading this book. My biggest difficulty was redefining what bulimia was. My definition involved binging and purging, through vomiting or laxatives. After researching a bit and learning that bulimia can in fact be present without purging I was then able to move forward. I learned that it can in fact be a matter of binging, then going for a long run, or dieting excessively to make up for the excessive intake.

Lori tells the story of her youth. She was troubled and struggled with self esteem from an early age. Her first experience with binging was in boarding school when she and a friend stole a large package of Pop Tarts from the kitchen. It continued to build from there.

Her struggle with food continued into adulthood and later she turned to alcohol as another coping mechanism. The lack of self esteem, poor body image and struggles in her personal life were contributing to her bulimia.

Lori found a way out of her turmoil through natural methods, and determining the root causes of her problems with food. While these methods might not work for everyone, I think this book is a great way to show one person's path. The most important thing is that every girl, every woman can find the path to self confidence, good body image and self esteem.

I've struggled with my own weight since my early twenties. I never saw it coming since in high school I could eat whatever I wanted with no consequence. I thought I must just have a super metabolism. I'm not bulimic, but I definitely have my own issues with overeating, especially sweets. In that regard, I could identify with Lori's struggle.

As I was reading, I wondered just how prevalent these feelings of poor body image leading to eating disorders really were. What I found was unnerving. One survey of approximately 4000 women ages 25-45 found that 65% of those surveyed experienced "disordered eating" with an additional 10% reporting symptoms of anorexia or bulimia. That's just one survey, but those results opened my eyes. Body image is a significant problem among women, and I am glad that Lori shared her story, to open people up to an alternative method of healing when conventional methods may not be sufficient.

Who By Fire - Silicon Valley Moms Book Club

One of my greatest fears in life is losing one of my children. It is the one thing in life that I simply don't know if I could pick myself up and live again. Who can judge how one reacts to such a tragedy? How can I say what I would do, or what lengths I would go to keep my other children close and safe?

Who By Fire by Diana Spechler had me drawn in by the first page. A story of a family torn apart by tragedy. Ash Kellerman and his sister Bits take two completely opposite roads after the disappearance of their sister, Alena. One turning to a wildly excessive lifestyle, the other to a deep rooted faith.

The book's events occur years after the abduction, leaving the family still in turmoil even after 13 years. Ash has decided to become an Orthodox Jew and moves to a yeshiva in Israel. His mother, Ellie Kellerman is convinced that he has joined a cult and desperate to rescue him. She enlists her daughter Bits to help in this effort, as well as a man who she met in a support group for people with loved ones involved in cults.

In Israel, Ash feels no need to be rescued, except maybe from the girl who is taunting him and also trying to lure him out of his chosen way of life.

The story is compelling, and as I said, from the first page I was completely hooked. I couldn't put it down, and at the end I found myself wondering if that could possibly be all. I wanted more. I wanted another fifty pages to continue my look into the lives of these characters. I loved every word & highly recommend Who By Fire!

I read this book and wondered, what would I have done? Experiencing the tragedy and loss of one child, would I do whatever it took to hold onto another? Or would I accept my son's decision and embrace him, even if I believed he was making a mistake. I'd like to think I would do the latter, but I think it's hard to say until you walk that road.

For more discussion on this book check out The LA Moms Blog where there will be a book club style discussion in the comments section of the post.