Just Be Nice

At the beginning of this year, I accidentally left my purse in my car and left my car unlocked. Not my brightest moment. Still, I maintain that I did not deserve

to have someone in the wee hours of the morning get into the van and steal my credit cards. I felt so violated, and so angry, and then one of my readers said something that rang true. She said she was trying to be extra nice to people to combat all the negativity going on in the world. Such a contrast from my whiny "why does everyone have to be so mean?" attitude I was carrying around. I vowed then to try to do the same. To be extra nice. To smile. Somewhere, somehow, I think I went back into my day to day life and forgot. Not that I go around with a frown on my face or be unnecessarily grumpy, but I surely can't remember a time when I recently went out of my way to be extra nice to someone.

Way back when we lived in Georgia, I felt overwhelmed sometimes with the kindness of my friends. People would offer to babysit the boys when Zack was tiny, and would never let me repay the favor. I felt horribly guilty, and tried to think of ways to return their kindness, but with 3 kids, ages 3, 2, and a newborn it seemed daunting. Back then, it occurred to me that my time to help would come later. I would know it when I saw it, and I may not repay the same friends that helped me out, but I could pay it forward, so to speak.

Recently, I've felt little nudgings of things to do for people, and I'm ashamed to say I've been suppressing them. It's never been a huge thing. Maybe taking a dinner to someone whose schedule is crazed right now, or sending a small gift to a friend far away. You know what's been stopping me? Thoughts like "Well, I really don't know them that well." " What if they think it's strange?" "What if it seems to forward, or somehow offends them?"I don't think I'm copping out, but maybe (definitely) I've become a little bit too worried about self preservation and what people will think. That is pretty twisted, though, because I know that if someone showed up at my door unannounced with dinner in hand, I would totally love it. Even if I already had dinner planned, even if it wasn't my favorite food. These are the kinds of things that stop me.

When I had the opportunity to read Debbie Tinzer's book "Do One Nice Thing" for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog book club, I knew I had to participate. This was already on my mind and I wanted that extra push to do what I vowed to do 9 months ago. The book is a collection of ideas ofacts of kindness. The theory behind it is that we can't change all the problems in the world, but we can make improvements by doing one nice thing a week. The suggestions in the book range from a simple smile (anyone can share a smile!) to helping children by donating school supplies, to donating a goat (for $30) to needy families in South Africa.

The possibilities are endless. My time has come to repay some of the favors done for me in the past. With this book in mind, I will commit to doing at least one nice thing a week. It may be something as simple as making cookies for my kids, and sharing them with the neighbors, but I will also strive to get out of my comfort zone. Next time an idea pops into my head, I won't dismiss it, or talk myself out of it. If I lack ideas I know I can turn to Debbie Tinzer's book.

For more discussion of "Do One Nice Thing," check out the Silicon Valley Moms Blogs (including Deep South Moms) on Tuesday, September 29th.

Phases

"It seems Ben is out of the eating crayons phase," I thought proudly as I set him up to color at the kitchen table. "It's about time, too. I wonder if he'll still eat the tips off of markers? The boys sure would be happy if they could color with markers again."

True to form, I got sidetracked and didn't think more about what Ben was doing at the table with the crayons until about 5 minutes later, when the coloring was abandoned and the crayons were all over the floor.

Yep, he's still totally in the throwing things on the floor phase.

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I love 2. Yes, there's the tantrums, and the messes, and the total lack of self control. But there's a sweetness at two. A total adoration for mommy. An enthusiasm that just thrills me.

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Ben has started to show signs that he has quite the temper. Okay, fine, I've always suspected this about him, but at 2 1/2, he can exhibit quite the display. He has a fit every time he has to get in his carseat because he wants to ride in a booster seat like his brothers. Every time, I tell him he needs to ride in his safe seat, and every time you would think I was abusing him the way he freaks out when I insist we must buckle the 5 point harness.

Today we were talking; we have great conversations, Ben and I. I don't remember what I said, but he said "because I a big boy, Momma." And I said "noooo Ben you're my baby." He replied, "don't call me a baby evah evah gin. K, Mom?"
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I see evidence every single day that my baby days are slipping by. All of my kids get themselves dressed now (one with serious prodding, but he's making progress.) Ben sometimes pees in the potty. My big kids are getting to truly be big. A little independence. Opinions of there own. As happy as I am to see this, a big part of me wants to slow down time. To keep them small. And when Ben says "Want a heg (hug) Mom?" and throws his sweet arms around my neck and kisses me smack on the lips, I just want to freeze him right where he is.

Fundraisers, fundraisers, fundraisers

Seriously, it's the first month of school and I'm up to my eyeballs in fundraisers.

My secret... I don't do it. I am a fundraising slacker. I hope not to sound like I don't support my kids schools, because I do. I love their school. But I can't stand the thought of asking our friends and family (repeatedly... times 3- someday 4)

I wrote a little more over at Deep South Moms about this topic. Do you agree? Am I horrible for feeling this way? I know I'm not alone in my feelings. But am I the minority or majority?

When things aren't fair.

Yesterday Zack had a bad day.

It started with him doing the hide behind Mom's leg trick at preschool. He hasn't done that in two weeks, but the teacher & I chalked it up to being Monday and I left him. I fretted for a while once Ben and I got home, but soon went on with my day.

When I went to pick Zack up, he ran to me like always with a smile on his face. I picked him up to kiss him and he got the saddest look on his face. "I didn't get a sticker." And then the water works. I debated asking the teacher what had happened but didn't want to look like I was just worried about the lack of sticker.

I did talk to her, but just asked how he did since he'd had a hard time staying. She said he did great, but was upset about not getting a sticker, but she had only given one to one boy. Turns out she told the kids whoever could spell hat would get a sticker. They each had an opportunity, but only one child did it.

He got his stamp for being good, but no sticker.

Boy, who knew how much drama this could cause. I heard about it for hours. I just kept thinking I wish that grown up bad days amounted to not getting a sticker.

Pictures

Here is my finished (kind of) bedroom. I did notice after taking these pictures that part of the wall where the bed is needs touched up, it didn't get quite even.

I would like to paint or refinish that dresser a darker color. Maybe a charcoal grey. We shall see. I also want to move the elliptical and put in a nice comfy reading chair. That may have to wait since I really don't want to spend much money on this decorating project.

And my wall art (if it doesn't suck) will hang there, over the bed. After I get the bed and end tables centered on the wall. Moving that bed by myself was not an easy accomplishment. But I did it!

I did not use the table saw because I am a chicken. I'll try not to beg Kevin to do it RIGHT when he gets home. We'll see how long I last.

Also, those end tables? I bought them a few months ago when I got those lamps. They are totally fine, but now. they.alll.wrong.for my vision of my pretty bedroom. So, do I Craigslist them & have my handy hubby build something to replace it? Or do I paint them to match the bookshelf. Also, the headboard needs to be darker now. Refinishing that sucker would be hard work, so what I'd love to is paint all the furniture in there. Really the only thing stopping me is that Kevin hates the thought of painting wood. And he built the bookshelf and headboard. So, if he doesn't want me to paint them I probably shouldn't. I'll talk to him about it right after we discuss him cutting 9 8x8 squares of MDF for me.

See what I mean about snowballing?

Pacing Myself

Home improvement projects are so fun, but the problem is, they snowball. Take for example.

I decided I wanted to make this wall hanging for my bedroom. (I will post pictures once we find out if it actually works out... suspense!) I also have a scenic lighthouse picture I got made into a poster a while back when Walgreens had a freebie deal. But before hang that picture and my possible wall hanging I wanted to paint my walls, and then paint a rectangle of a very close shade of the color to highlight the art.

Are you lost yet? Cause that almost doesn't make sense to me. I have a vision in my head but describing it is difficult. And you see, my room is all painted and pretty and I would have pictures to post right now but my camera battery is charging. My next step is to create this marvel (I hope) to hang on the wall above our bed. The problem is this requires using power tools. A table saw to be exact. Normally this would totally be a hubby job, but he's off playing working in GA this week and I want to do it now. Except the garage really needs to be cleaned too, and if I'm going to go out there and try to use a table saw I think it better be tidy. You know, in case I lose a finger and have to call 911. Wouldn't want the paramedics to see the clutter out there. (I kid, I would TOTALLY pass out if I cut myself there would be no phone calling!)

Anyway so one little task of beautifying my bedroom turns into a million different projects and I haven't even mentioned all of them, because I'm not SURE I can convince Kevin to let me paint our bookshelf and headboard, and I definitely don't want to buy new ones.

Also we need to paint the living and dining room & I want to do a darker color on our tv wall in the family room as an accent wall, and and and. And I want it all done NOW.

So, I keep telling myself to take it slow (like 3 weeks roughly to get my bedroom painted) and as long as I'm working toward getting it done, it's cool. I'm pacing myself.

Now I think I'll go tackle that garage.

Dreams

The brain is a funny thing. I haven't thought about my old job, or the people I worked with for quite some time. It's been 7 years 5 months 11 days since I was there. I've heard a few things about a few people, but besides a very few people I was close to, I really don't think about it much.

Friday night, after reflecting on September 11, after writing about it; I dreamed about my old job and all the people there. In my dream I went back to work. (Interesting, since it's 1200 miles away from where I now live. The people welcomed me back with open arms. Everyone acted as if I had never left.

The only strange thing is that the President, my boss's dad, who retired before I had Eric and left the job asked me to go on the roof and and check out the air conditioner compressor. I couldn't figure out what was wrong (because dude, I work (ed) in accounting. And he kept getting so frustrated that I wasn't doing it right and his office was too warm.

Now I'm laughing SO hard because our air conditioner upstairs is doing strange things and while technically working is having these... issues and we can't quite figure it out. I just pieced together that the air conditioner part of the dream must be related to this. Haha!

The subconcious is such an amazing, and strange thing.

Most of my dreams I feel like I need a professional analyst to pick apart for me. This one, I think I have figured out!